


white marble butterflies

by nekrateholic



Series: girls girls girls [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, actually fem!everyone but soonyoung and seokmin, fem!Jihoon, fem!Wonwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/nekrateholic
Summary: Wonwoo keeps meeting Jihoon at the wrong time.





	white marble butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> the actual name of the butterfly from the title is [marbled white](http://butterfly-conservation.org/679-866/marbled-white.html) but i took some liberties bc i like the sound better like that, sorry butterfly enthusiasts

The first time Wonwoo sees Jihoon is a Halloween soon-to-be party. She’s a friend of Mingyu’s roommate, Soonyoung and she’s tiny and boyish; she has an air of intelligence around her and she’s rather quiet, but Wonwoo has a feeling it’s more because of disinterest, rather than shyness.

Jihoon’s dressed like that dead dude from American Horror Story - with the skeleton makeup and all. Her hair is short and dyed blonde-ish and she has some sort of white paint sprayed over it. Wonwoo saw at least three people dressed in variations of this just on the way from the bus stop to Mingyu’s apartment and that’s ten minutes tops. Still, Jihoon wears it like she’s the only one who does, like it’s unique and Wonwoo has to admit, hers is the best version of the dead dude she’s seen so far.

Wonwoo, on the other hand, is dressed like a popular youtube persona which is pretty mainstream in the youtube community but the youtube community isn’t all that mainstream out of youtube yet, so none of her friends know who she actually is. She made sure to show them videos, but their knowledge extends to laughing at her messy wig and the messy red lipstick and the third eyebrow - and occasionally making Wonwoo actually imitate her character talking.

Jihoon walks in as Wonwoo is drawing her third eyebrow and Wonwoo looks up, sees her, then promptly looks back at the mirror and focuses on the eyebrow, praying she doesn’t blush.

“Oh, you’re Shanaynay.” Jihoon says, like it’s the easiest thing, like _everyone_ should know who Shanaynay is and -

“Out!” Mingyu yells, waving Wonwoo’s jean jacket and her own dress in Jihoon’s face. “We still need to get changed.”

Jihoon looks between Mingyu and Wonwoo, who’s alternating between staring at her half finished eyebrow and glancing at Jihoon in the mirror, eyeliner forgotten in her hand. “But...”

“No butts,” Mingyu says, the extra t obvious in her voice. She giggles at her own joke and Jihoon rolls her eyes.

“Fine.” she huffs, and goes out of the room - presumably to talk to one of the five other people in the apartment that Wonwoo doesn’t know.

*

When they’re all ready and about to head out to the bar, Mingyu forces them to take a group picture, then ten more. Jihoon asks if she can have a picture with Wonwoo, and keeps quietly praising her costume with her eyes and occasionally, her words. Wonwoo tries to choke the butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

*

There’s a guy with a gas mask in the bar and everyone cheers every time he passes by. He’s easily one of the more impressive costumes, even though apart from the gas mask he doesn’t have much of a costume at all.

Jihoon clinks glasses with him once and Wonwoo briefly wonders where she could get a gas mask. For next Halloween. Hypothetically, of course. Jihoon also spends a lot of time asking her to act like Shanaynay but it’s like Wonwoo has suddenly forgotten each and every video she has ever watched and she barely manages to squeak out a _girl, naw_ in Shanaynay’s voice before she hides her face in her hands and shakes her head at Jihoon pleas for more.

Wonwoo pretends she doesn’t see her disappointed almost-pout.

*

Wonwoo is buzzed, yes, but not buzzed enough to attempt communication with strangers, especially if it means talking about her obscure music interests, so she begs Mingyu to ask the DJ to play one of her favourite songs. Mingyu on the other hand begs Jihoon and she rolls her eyes, but then glances at Wonwoo and Wonwoo swears there’s a tiny little smile hiding in there as Jihoon nods yes to Mingyu.

Wonwoo sees her go to the DJ and ask him something. And once again, when it’s been almost an hour and Wonwoo still has barely heard any song she knows.

Then, the opening riffs to that one rock song literally no one at their table knows are deafening. No one but Jihoon, apparently, because suddenly she is right there, what is probably her third glass of vodka in her hand but it’s okay, because Wonwoo’s well past the tipsy stage at this point as well. They scream more than sing in each other’s faces and laugh and Jihoon holds her hand when their voices become too raw to sing along and they just jump instead. Wonwoo doesn’t have mental capacity left to try and reign in the butterflies in her stomach this time.

When the song ends Jihoon grins at her excitedly. She tugs her sleeve and Wonwoo bends down so she can hear her shout over the music. “Do you wanna go to the bathroom?”

Wonwoo grins back at her but shakes her head. She really doesn’t. Jihoon shrugs and leaves her to go by herself.

(A while later, it occurs to Wonwoo that this was the exact type of setting where people drag other people to the bathroom to make out with them in the movies. She almost manages to overthink herself into a fit of tears before the actual, very visual possibilities of what could have happened flood her brain and oh wow, this heat coiling in her belly is really _uncomfortable_.)

*

The next day Wonwoo meets Seungkwan at the train station because they finally convinced her parents to let her stay with Wonwoo for a few days and Wonwoo is ecstatic. She tells Seungkwan all about Jihoon and how hot she is and how they like the same music and how she knew who Shanaynay was and how Jihoon is just so _cool_ -

“I hate her.” Seungkwan says flatly, barely waiting for Wonwoo to finish.

Wonwoo blinks at her. “Why?”

“You fall for people so easily,” Seungkwan says, a little softer. “I hate seeing it because they never deserve all the feelings you invest in them.”

Wonwoo laughs. “It’s not that deep.”

*

Seungkwan seems to change her opinion of Jihoon drastically within minutes of meeting her that same night. Seungkwan is social, okay, and apparently Jihoon can be too when prodded the right way (or with the appropriate amount of alcohol). They just _click_ and Wonwoo feels her butterflies quickly turn into lead.

She helplessly watches as Seungkwan and Jihoon talk about anything and everything and Mingyu frowns at her.

“Wasn’t Seungkwan supposed to be your best friend or whatever?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says, eyes never leaving Jihoon as she laughs at whatever Seungkwan is saying. “She is.”

“Could have fooled me,” Mingyu mutters, still frowning. “Didn’t you mention Seungkwan said she hates Jihoon before she even met her?”

“Yeah.” Wonwoo says again. Seungkwan is currently programming her number in Jihoon’s phone and Jihoon glances in Wonwoo’s direction - Wonwoo quickly averts her gaze. “I guess she doesn’t hate her anymore,” she says to Mingyu.

*

Seungkwan is quiet for most of the walk back to Wonwoo’s. She’s supposed to share Wonwoo’s room while she’s here and right now, Wonwoo has no idea how to feel about that.

“I’m sorry.” Seungkwan says quietly.

Wonwoo forces herself to smile. “What for?”

“Don’t play dumb.” Seungkwan mumbles, “She… She’s really cool, you were right.” Then, a beat later, “I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t talk to her anymore, I promise - you can have her all to yourself.”

Something in Wonwoo breaks. “ _No_.” Seungkwan looks up in surprise. Every single thing in Wonwoo’s brain, as well as her heart, feels wrong. “Jihoon likes you. Promise me,” Something sour, awful flutters in the place of the butterflies and Wonwoo almost chokes. “Promise me if you have the chance you’ll go out with her. If I can’t have my dream girl at least you should.”

Seungkwan still looks sorry but also a little hopeful and Wonwoo makes herself smile, says _I’m okay_.

When they get back to her shared apartment, she locks herself in the bathroom and cries for as long as she can afford without actually alerting anyone that there’s something wrong.

*

In the weeks that follow, Seungkwan talks to Jihoon almost every single day over skype. Wonwoo sometimes asks about it, when she’s feeling particularly masochistic. Seungkwan shyly tells her that she confessed to Jihoon, but she let her down gently. _I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’m sorry._ For some reason, that makes Wonwoo feel even worse.

*

For once in her life, Wonwoo decides to go to bed before midnight the night before her birthday. A grave mistake. At exactly 00:00 (she throws a bleary look at the clock on her bedside table) her phone rings.

“Happy birthday!!!” Seungkwan squeals on the other side. Wonwoo mumbles something unintelligible. Seungkwan laughs. “Were you asleep?”

Wonwoo nods, before she remembers Seungkwan can’t actually see her. “Yeah,” she croaks out.

“Sorry. I love you, I hope you have the best birthday and the best year and all the nice things because you deserve each and every one of them.” Wonwoo is smiling, she knows, and she giggles in the receiver. “Oh,” Seungkwan says offhandedly, “Jihoon wishes you happy birthday too.”

That wakes Wonwoo up a little more. She’s had time to deal by now. Hypothetically. “Yeah, that doesn’t count.” She says confidently, laughing a little for good measure. “I won’t believe it until I hear it.”

A few seconds after Seungkwan hangs up Wonwoo’s phone lights up with an unknown number. Something that feels suspiciously like those butterflies she had all those months ago rises in her chest.

“Happy birthday,” Jihoon’s tinny voice says and oh, Wonwoo’s forgotten how nice her voice sounds.

“Thanks,” Wonwoo replies and they talk about something - but Wonwoo’s been teethering on the edge between sleep and wakefulness ever since Seungkwan called. Wonwoo thinks she snores a little at some point.

“I should leave you to sleep,” Jihoon says softly and if Wonwoo was more awake, she’d probably be mortified.

As it is, she says, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Jihoon laughs. “Sweet dreams.”

Wonwoo falls asleep seconds after she places her phone back at the bedside table.

*

Wonwoo likes to think she’s dealing well with her crush, even if it has continued way too long.

The fantasy shatters, however, when she enters Mingyu’s kitchen and sees Soonyoung laughing at something Jihoon is saying. Wonwoo’s eyes widen and she stutters a greeting before grabbing a glass of water and all but running out of the room.

Mingyu looks apologetic when Wonwoo slams the door to her bedroom. “You knew she was here.” Wonwoo states.

“Yeah,” Mingyu looks even more apologetic now. “I wanted to tell you, I swear, but I didn’t know how and I just -”

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo interrupts her. “It’s fine, I can deal with this. I’m almost over her, remember?”

Lies.

When Wonwoo and Mingyu join Soonyoung and Jihoon in the kitchen, Wonwoo manages approximately ten minutes of small talk before Jihoon jokes about something and Wonwoo says,

“Yeah, because your opinion is _so important_. So important.” There isn’t even a trace of humour in her voice, even though she honestly meant it as a joke.

Everyone stares at her for a few seconds.

“Yeaah,” Mingyu laughs awkwardly, “I think we’ll go watch a movie now. Anyone wanna join?” She aims this at Soonyoung and Jihoon but both of them shake their heads. “Yeah, okay,” Mingyu continues in that awkwardly lighthearted tone, “see you later.”

Now, it takes approximately two seconds after Mingyu’s door clicks shut before Wonwoo can feel the tears running down her cheeks.

“I didn’t mean it, oh god, what if she hates me now, oh god, I should go apologize -”

“Breathe,” Mingyu says, hands on Wonwoo’s cheeks. Wonwoo breathes. “You were rude, yes, but you going back there and apologizing in that state will only make things worse. Breathe,” Mingyu repeats.

So Wonwoo breathes, again, and keeps crying on Mingyu’s shoulder, in her pillow, in that ugly pink rabbit Soonyoung got her for Christmas last year.

She cries and cries and cries and prays Mingyu’s walls are thick enough.

*

“She felt really bad, you know.” Soonyoung tells her one day.

Wonwoo looks up from the text she’s supposed to be studying with Mingyu. Mingyu disappeared on a coffee run about ten minutes ago. “Who?”

“Jihoon.” Soonyoung says and Wonwoo takes a sharp breath. She prays Soonyoung didn’t notice but by his sad, knowing smile - he did. “She thought she’d ruined your friendship with Seungkwan.”

“She almost did.” Wonwoo replies softly. She has no idea why she’s saying this to Soonyoung of all people, but it doesn’t feel wrong.

“I know,” Soonyoung nods. “She does too.”

*

The next time they see each other, Wonwoo actually has most of her emotions in check this time. Her heart still beats a little faster when Jihoon smiles at her when she greets her, though.

It’s Soonyoung’s birthday party and there’s quite a bit of alcohol going around. Jihoon attacks it like she has something to prove and it’s not even two hours before she’s long past the point of being tipsy and well into plain old drunk.

Soonyoung suggests some sort of card game Wonwoo hasn’t heard of before but it requires splitting into teams of two. Jihoon jumps at the idea, drunken excitement all over her face.

They decide to divide the teams by making people choose a card - you have the same number, you’re on the same team. Jihoon draws a four and Wonwoo looks sadly at her six.

“What’s yours?” Jihoon asks, suddenly very close. Her breath stinks of alcohol.

“Six.” Wonwoo says, showing her the card. Jihoon takes it from her, squints at it, then throws it somewhere behind her.

“It’s four now.” To the rest of the room, she announces, “We’re a team!”

Soonyoung stares at her. “But -”

“Who’s four?” Jihoon interrupts him, loudly. Seokmin tentatively raises his card. Jihoon crawls over and snags it from his hand - then she pushes it into Wonwoo’s. “Okay, we’re really a team now.”

Someone plays a song half the room loves, then, and most people, including Jihoon forget the cards to dance. Or at least try to - there aren't many sober people at this point. Mingyu bitches that they ruined her cards and the game is quickly forgotten. Wonwoo tries to subtly get their attention back to it, to which Jihoon responds by clinging to her again. Mingyu narrows her eyes, though, so Wonwoo drops it.

Turns out, the game just wasn’t meant to be - Jihoon passes out cold not even ten minutes after.

*

Wonwoo doesn’t see Jihoon for a long time after that - weeks turns into months and months into years - two, to be exact.

And then, Wonwoo decides to finally face life as an adult. She moves into her own apartment, in another city. She meets Jihoon on a bus, accidentally, like they’re in one of the cheesy romance novels Wonwoo pretends not to like.

Wonwoo gathers all her courage, ignoring the remnants of the Epic Crush, and says, “Hi.”

Jihoon looks up and takes her earphones off. “Oh, hi.”

There’s a stark difference between the Jihoon that pushed a four into Wonwoo’s hand two years ago and the one she’s looking at right now. In terms of appearance, almost nothing has changed - at all, her hair is still short and she’s still as cute as ever. This Jihoon’s face, however, is unreadable.

“What are you doing here?” Wonwoo asks after about a minute of awkward silence.

“Going home from work.” Jihoon replies. Her voice is as unreadable as her face.

Wonwoo swallows. “Cool.”

She’s almost glad when the bus reaches her stop.

*

 _so hey_ , Wonwoo receives the next day on facebook, _when did you move here?_

She stares at the chatbox, the name Lee Jihoon blinking back at her.

 _a month ago_ , she types back.

Jihoon’s response is almost immediate.

_ooh_

_how do you like it so far?_

_it’s nice_ , Wonwoo replies honestly. _haven’t had the chance to look around though_

Jihoon starts typing immediately, then stops, then starts again. At the fourth try, Wonwoo reads a,

 _we could meet for coffee if you want._ And then a second later, _i can show you around_

 _okay,_ Wonwoo types back. A part of her, the part that still wondered what would've happened if she’d went with Jihoon to the bathroom all those years ago, that part - it feels pretty damn excited.

*

Mingyu would judge her to hell and back if she knew about this, so Wonwoo doesn’t tell her. On the day of her date - _not a real date_ , Wonwoo tells herself again - she gets ready meticulously, with music blasting loud enough to drown out her own thoughts and maybe annoy a neighbour or two.

When she looks at herself in the mirror, she tells herself the extra effort in her outfit is for extra confidence. Her legs _do_ look amazing in that skirt, after all.

She’s happy to notice Jihoon’s eyes slowly trail down her frame when they meet. Her gaze quickly snaps back up, though, and she acts perfectly normal; way friendlier than when they met in the bus.

Jihoon shows her a tiny café that has the best cappuccino Wonwoo has ever tasted and they talk for so long the barista has to awkwardly tell them they’re closing soon.

Wonwoo has an absent thought of, _this is why Seungkwan liked talking to her so much._

*

They meet at the movies next, and the day after that Wonwoo runs almost an hour late.

Jihoon offers to pick her up because she’s on her way already and Wonwoo texts her the address.

None of these facts, however, answer the question of just how did Wonwoo end up on her couch with a lap full of Jihoon, purse forgotten on the ground.

“Please tell me I’m not reading this wrong,” Jihoon says against her lips. Wonwoo breathes in slowly - Jihoon doesn’t smell like alcohol this time. It’s nice.

“Honestly,” she replies, hands settling on Jihoon’s hips, “I have no idea.”

Jihoon shifts and her jeans feel rough against Wonwoo’s bare thighs. “I was so sure you hate me.”

Wonwoo breathes out a laugh, “Hate you? I had the biggest crush on you.”

“I know,” Jihoon smiles a little, cups Wonwoo’s cheek with one hand. “You were kinda obvious.”

“Not obvious enough, apparently.” Wonwoo says before she can think better of it. Jihoon stiffens.

“I -”

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo hurries to add, “it was years ago, it’s fine.”

Jihoon drops her head on Wonwoo’s shoulder. “I’ve always had a thing for you, you know. Ever since that Halloween party. There were just always… things.”

Wonwoo refuses to let the bitterness to show in her voice. “Things.”

“Things.” Jihoon repeats. She looks up to meet Wonwoo’s eyes. “There are no things now, though.”

Wonwoo can feel a giddy smile trying to creep onto her face. “Yeah?”

Jihoon buries her hand in Wonwoo’s hair and moves really, really close.

Wonwoo feels more than hears the, “Yeah.”


End file.
